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C int. Jordan's parents' apartment - living room - night 75c
MAX BELFORT sits smoking, watching a rerun of "The Equalizer" on TV. His wife, LEAH, does needlepoint.
JORDAN (V.O.) We called him Mad Max because of his hair-trigger temper, which could be set off by something as innocuous as a ringing telephone.
The phone RINGS.
MAX Who the hell has the goddamn gall to call this house on a Tuesday evening! Goddammit!
JORDAN (V.O.) But then the weirdest thing would happen. Though he'd never been near England, he'd pick up the phone and affect an ever-so-slight British accent.
Greatly agitated, Max stomps toward the phone.
JORDAN (V.O.) This was his other persona -- the super polite, ever-gracious Sir Max.
MAX (into phone) Hello?... Yes, Gene, right-eo. Good-good then... Cheerio.
JORDAN (V.O.) It was absolutely bizarre. He'd hang up...
MAX (hangs up phone) Goddamn fucking halfwit! 33. The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13
JORDAN (V.O.) And become Mad Max all over again.
Max curses a blue streak as he stomps back to his chair.
SCENE 76 OMITTED 76
INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - JORDAN'S OFFICE - DAY 77 (MAR `92)
Holding a HEADSHOT of the Dwarf from the opening, Jordan sits talking with Donnie, Robbie and Rugrat.
JORDAN What if he gets hurt?
ROBBIE * He'll be wearing a helmet. Plus they've got, like, superhuman strength anyway.
DONNIE * I did hear you're not supposed to * make direct eye contact. If you * look at them too long in their * eyes they get freaked out - their * wires cross. *
JORDAN * I think there's a limit to how far * we can go... I mean we can throw * shit at him and - *
DONNIE * They have a lot of feelings. *
JORDAN * There's a specific thing that * they'll do - You can throw him at * a dart board but if you want him * to show his cock or - *
ROBBIE * Yes, that's what this guy does. *
RUGRAT * That's his gift. *
ROBBIE * Can we also bowl with him? *
RUGRAT * His brother is actually the * bowler. * 34. The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13
ROBBIE * They strap a skateboard to him and * throw him down an alley. *
RUGRAT * They're ornery, too, the little pricks. You gotta be careful.
JORDAN Get some tranq darts.
DONNIE A little straitjacket. *
JORDAN * What's the liability on something * like this?
RUGRAT * That's a whole different thing. I * can get on the phone with some * people. I can talk to the * insurance company and tell them * exactly what we're going to do. * But I think we go back to the same * plan - loophole - if we don't * really consider them people I * think we are in the clear. *
DONNIE * I think we should keep one in the * office because I think they're * good luck. *
JORDAN * Treat it like the fuckin' thing it * is. He's coming in. We're paying * him for something. Treat him with * respect. And you just shake his * hand like you don't even think * anything's wrong. *
DONNIE * You just look like something else * is going on. *
RUGRAT * You don't look at his eyes. *
DONNIE * Say "thank you for being here". *
ROBBIE * You don't turn your back on him. * It's a sign of disrespect. * 35. The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13
DONNIE * If you want a cracker or something * - I'm gonna have some treats in my * pocket. I want to be in a strip * club with you guys. Literally pull *
out a brief case and have a little * fuckin' guy pop out of there. You * know how much fuckin' pussy you * get? *
JORDAN * The point is get it out. *
DONNIE * Get the jokes out now. Get the * fuckin' jokes out now. *
JORDAN * You're gonna fuck it up. Purge all * this shit right now. *
DONNIE * That's what I'm saying - *
JORDAN * When he comes in the room, I want * him to feel like a human being - *
DONNIE * Business. Business. It's fuckin' * business, bro. *
JORDAN * I want him to feel just like a * normal human being. Cause you know * - like one of us. One of us. *
DONNIE * Like he's an actual human being. * One of us. *
JORDAN * Gobble, gobble we accept you, one * of us! One of us! *
ALL * One of us. *
Janet pokes her head in. *
JANET Your dad's coming. With the American Express bill.
JORDAN Can you stop him? 36. The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13
JANET Fuck you, you stop him.
The guys straighten up and head to desk, settle in. Max * blows in past her, waving a 3-inch-thick bill:
MAX $430,000 dollars in one month!! Four-hundred-and-thirty-thousand dollars in one month!!
JORDAN Hello, Father. * (Max's expression doesn't budge) They're business expenses. Just * relax. *
The guys titter at "business expenses."
MAX If you bastards don't wipe those smug fucking looks off your faces, I swear to God I'm gonna wipe `em off for you! (back to Jordan) Are you insane?
ROBBIE * Actually, Max, my portion of the bill is hardly anything, so I'm on the same page as you --
MAX Shut the fuck up, Feinberg, you only have a portion because of my son, you worthless twerp!
DONNIE (chuckles) Twerp.
MAX You zip it, too, Azoff, those boiling teeth of yours are hurting my fucking eyes! (turning to Jordan) My own son! From my very loins! What do you think this is? *
JORDAN Will you calm down --
MAX You don't think there's any end in sight, do you? It's all one giant party to you schmendricks! 37. The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 MAX (CONT'D) (holds up AMEX bill) $26,000 for one dinner!!
JORDAN Donnie ordered sides.
DONNIE Yeah, that was... Sorry.
MAX (glowering) What is EJ Entertainment? What is EJ Entertainment?!
JORDAN (restraining a grin) You tell me, Dad.
MAX It's a goddamn prostitution ring is what it is!!
Jordan feigns shock, turns to Donnie: did you know it was a prostitution ring?!
DONNIE Doesn't the IRS allow for T&A?
MAX It's T&E and stop fucking with me! What kind of hookers take credit cards, anyway?!
Jordan takes the bill, starts flipping through it.
JORDAN (V.O.) In Stratton parlance, there were three kinds of hookers. There were blue chips, the top of the line. Model material. They were priced between $300 and $500 and made you wear a condom unless you gave them a hefty tip, which I always did.
77A A "BLUE CHIP" HOOKER FLOATS THROUGH, SURROUNDED BY *77A STRATTON BROKERS. *
JORDAN (V.O.) Then came NASDAQs, who were pretty, but not great, usually in the two to three hundred dollar range.
38. The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13
77B A "NASDAQ" HOOKER DANCES THROUGH BULLPEN. STRATTON *77B BROKERS WATCH. *
JORDAN (V.O.) Finally there were pink sheets, skanks, the bottom of the barrel.
77C A "PINK SHEET" HOOKER, COVERED IN TATTOOS, IS ON ALL *77C FOURS AS SEA OTTER RIDES HER LIKE A PONY. *
JORDAN (V.O.) They usually cost a hundred or less, and if you didn't wear a condom, you'd get a penicillin shot the next day and pray your dick didn't fall off.
77D THE ABOVE-MENTIONED "PINK SHEET" HOOKER SITS ON A STOOL, *77D AS SEA OTTER FUCKS HER. *
JORDAN (V.O.) Not that we didn't fuck them, too. Believe me, we did.
Behind him, the other guys wait their turns. *
E BACK TO SCENE 77E
Max continues to steam so Jordan ushers Robbie, Rugrat and Donnie out the door.
JORDAN Give us a minute, will you, guys?
He closes the door, then stretches a bit, exaggeratedly, letting out a little moan.
MAX What's the matter?
JORDAN Nothing, just... My back's been killing me. Pain shooting down my leg. Not to worry, it'll pass.
MAX What do the doctors say?
JORDAN Doctors, what do they know? I'm on like twenty different medications. (re: the Amex bill) Look, I know it's hard for you to make sense of these expenses, but there's a method here, okay? * 39. The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13
Max waits to hear it; Jordan gestures to the bullpen *
MAX And you have to lead by example, is that it? (Jordan nods) I'm tellin' ya, kid, one of these days... one of these days the chickens are gonna come home to * roost.
JORDAN * In order to keep these guys * working, I gotta keep `em * spending. I need to keep them * chasing the dream. You flash some * cash, they do the same. It keeps * them motivated. *
MAX * Pissing away money? That's what * motivates you kids? *
JORDAN * I could afford to pay them more, * but then they wouldn't need me as * much. And as long as they need me * they'll always fear me. I know it * sounds crazy. *
MAX * Crazy? This... is obscene. *
He turns and exits. Jordan watches him go, thinking.
JORDAN (V.O.) It was obscene -- in the normal world. But who wanted to live there?
78 EXT. BEACH HOUSE - SOUTH HAMPTON - DAY (JUN `92) 78
Massive, with an Olympic-size pool overlooking the beach. Dozens of luxury cars parked outside. On a balcony, Jordan is mid-speech, in a bathing suit, addressing the Strattonites below, Teresa at his side.
JORDAN (O.C.) -- so enjoy yourselves, you all deserve a celebration. `Cept for Kimmie, she's lazy and she steals. * (off laughter, Kimmie * flips him the bird; he blows her a kiss) But, everybody, keep this in mind. 40. The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 JORDAN (O.C.) (CONT'D) As my friend Donnie Azoff says, "If you wanna party with the boys, you gotta wake up with the men." Monday morning I want you all looking razor-sharp. Cuz Stratton's got a few things on the horizon, things that're gonna take it right up into the fucking stratosphere!
The Crowd goes nuts. One Broker lets loose a wolf-howl, and the crowd toasts Jordan, chanting his name.
CROWD Jor-dan! Jor-dan! Jor-dan!
As Jordan looks down smiling like a benevolent dictator --
JORDAN (PRE-LAP) Fuck Merrill Lynch, this way we become the underwriters.
ROBBIE (PRE-LAP) * Like an investment bank.
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